It seems to me that for most people, upon discovering that they or a loved one is diagnosed with one of the major psychological disorders, assumes that life is over. They wonder if they can go to college or get married. If they’ll ever live a normal life. If they can succeed like anyone else. I don’t know whether this is a blessing or a curse, but I have never had that moment. I was diagnosed when I was about nine. Instead of a moment of doubt, I grew up thinking I was less than and behind everyone else and that I could never catch up.
My message of hope today is that the Bipolar label or any other mental disorder label, is just that- a label. It’s a hard thing to understand because it feels like a ball and chain. Growing up, I isolated myself because I didn’t believe that I had as much to offer because of the bipolar disorder. I wish I could say that I was able to shed the label because I learned to accept myself and to ignore the stigma. I wish I could say that it was something that I overcame through sheer will and love. However, my solution came in my first year of college when my understanding of it changed.
I had finally started seeing a psychiatrist and within a few months, I was diagnosed with ADHD and an anxiety disorder in addition to the bipolar. This shifted my understanding of the label. Instead of seeing it as a concrete thing like a sign taped to my forehead or chains and weights tied to my arms and legs, I saw it more abstractly. It’s hard to diagnose someone because people rarely fit into one category. My own disorder spills out into several. With the new diagnosis, one might expect me to suffocate under more labels and find it even harder to cope. Instead I stopped seeing it as a concrete label.
I see the labels as things that doctors use to understand disorders. They are flexible and change as understanding changes. They cannot define who I am because they are someone else’s opinion or diagnosis. They do not cover everything and are a poor way to describe oneself.
My message of hope for those carrying the heavy label is to change your perspective. It’s not who you are. It’s something you have. And it should not be the defining feature for yourself because there is so much more to everyone than the simple label. My hope is that I can this so that you, my reader, will not have to struggle as I did. I am not bipolar. I am a soul who has bipolar disorder. It is not who I am. It’s something I have.
